Easing the Childhood Cancer Journey

B.I.G. Love Blog

The Secret Place

November 2004

“I want to go to the Secret Place right now. Please take me back to the Secret Place,” you pleaded desperately as we drove home after our visit to the surgery unit.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Brooke. Where do you want to go?”

“Call Dad, he knows the way. Take me back. I want to go back. Give me your cell phone. I got to call Aunt Zelle.”

With the cell phone pressed to your ear, you said, “Hi Aunt Zelle. I went to the Secret Place today while I was in the surgery unit."

“Where did you go?” Aunt Zelle asked.

“You know, the Secret Place. Like the song.”

Then you began to sing Psalm 91 over the phone:

                “He who dwells into the Secret Place of the Most High

                Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty

                And I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress

                ………My God in Him will I trust

                And I will say of The Lord He is my refuge and my fortress

                ……..My God in Him will I trust.”


After the song, you continued, “I went there. I want you to go too. I can take you there. There are big doors and lots and lots of beautiful colors. And a big blue road, and talking monsters that are NOT ugly. And there is a big mountain, too. God is there and the talking monsters are all around Him. And there was a lot of people.”

As we rode along in the car, we were simply speechless. We didn’t ask you endless questions about your experience or probe you for answers. Our hearts rested in the magnanimous thought that the sovereign God of the universe had shown to you, our sweet three year old little girl, glorious and eternal things that none of us could fathom. If only we could see what your eyes beheld.

You continued to hum your song as we drove the rest of the way home.

From this point on, every time you awoke from surgery, you spoke of the Secret Place.  A Place you became familiar with and a Place you longed for and desired.

"Instead, they were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them." Hebrews 11:16

“All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God.” Rev 7:11

 “Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders.”

Rev 5:11